How My Yoni Massage Therapist Helped Me Explore Why I Like My Uncle Touching Me
It was always a bit embarrassing to me that, in my fantasies, I like my uncle touching me. When I was a young girl, I had an uncle who used to send really inappropriate sexual energy my direction. He lusted after me, and I was aware of it even at 12 years old.
He would leer at me, and I especially noticed that he would give me a lot of attention when I was wearing skimpy summer clothing. If there was even a hint of my butt cheek hanging out of my shorts, or my neckline of my shirt hung open too low, he would always make comments about how I should think about what I was wearing in case the boys were looking.
When I got a bit older, he would find me at family parties and he would look for ways to talk to me when it was just the two of us. He would try to trap me in a corner, and then he would say something to me about how pretty I looked today.
The older I became, the bolder he got. He eventually started telling me how he wanted to teach me some things. How he wanted to show me what real grownup men wanted to do with young girls. He would make vague comments about how I had no idea what was going on in men’s minds.
Of course, he was alluding to what was going on in his own mind. He was thinking about how taboo, how wrong it would be, if he were to be the first man to touch me the way he thought so many other men were thinking of me, even when I was so young. He thought that it was extremely common for men to look at my nubile body and think about how they would like to be the first to defile me.
In reality, his thoughts were really twisted, and it was really strange and confusing to receive that energy from him when I was a really young girl. I would walk into a space that he was in when the whole family was together, and suddenly I would feel funny in my body. Like suddenly my body would be filled with this intense sexual energy, and all I had to do was look at him to know that he was the one who was looking at me funny and sending me that strange energy.
He never actually touched me in a bad way when I was a kid, with the exception of maybe lingering a bit too long during a hug. It was confusing to me as a kid because it felt like there was something different between us, but I didn’t know what it was exactly that felt different. As an adult, looking back, it was the fact that I could feel his attraction to me so clearly, that felt so strange to me.
It has always been embarrassing for me to admit, but when I was a teenager, I started to have fantasies about him acting on his feelings of attraction for me. I used to imagine how it would happen, how he would try to get me alone at one of our family parties, and find an excuse to close us into a room together.
I used to imagine what he would say to talk his way into a closed space with me. How he would try to make me feel like it was okay that he had me on my own. How he would find an excuse to come in close to me. Maybe he would comment on something I was wearing and reach out to touch it, like he was making fun of me, but then he would “accidentally” grope or graze me.
I used to imagine scenarios in which he would make all manner of excuses, and then see what he would get away with, with me. I admit, it has been a favorite uncle fantasy of mine for a long time. After absorbing so much unwanted sexual attention from him, my body and my mind were longing for an outlet for all of that sexual energy.
Since this is such a strange and taboo fantasy, I didn’t have an outlet for it for the longest time. I didn’t want to admit to any of the men I was dating that I had fantasies about my uncle violating me. I thought for sure they would think that there was something wrong with me. It seems pretty messed up to want to role play something like that.
But because I spent so much time absorbing that energy, it was built up in my system, and it was very much longing for a release. When I had solo masturbation sessions, I would think about this fantasy and it was always a powerful sexual release for me. But I had never experienced getting to play out such a fantasy with a partner.
Then, one day, I discovered the existence of a local yoni massage practitioner. On his website, he advertised that, in addition to yoni massage services, he was also available for sexual surrogacy, and sexual fantasy fulfillment.
I got so excited when I saw this. On his website, he had lots of examples of fantasies he had helped other women experience and fulfill. There were testimonials from the women expressing how they felt safe to receive their particular sexual desire from him, and that he was particularly gifted at playing a role to fulfill a fantasy.
I decided to go ahead and send him a text message, so I could start a conversation with him and find out if he was indeed equipped to play the role and fulfill my uncle fantasy for me.
In our text exchange, I described the scenario I would like to play out – I wanted him to embody my inappropriate uncle and corner me at a family party, and talk me into hiding in a bedroom with him alone. I wanted him to do this under the guise that he wanted to teach me things that grown women know, to please men.
We set up an appointment, for me to go to his studio and pretend that he and I were at a party, finding a private place to be. When I arrived for the appointment, we sat and talked about my desires for a little while, and when I was ready, we agreed to start the scene between us.
He came over to me, like he had stumbled across me at a party, and, with his body a little to heavy and close to mine, he told me he wanted to show me something in another room.
Like a sweet and naïve little girl, I got up to follow him, and let him close me into a private space. This is where he started to tell me about how he had noticed that I was playing with some things that I didn’t seem to understand, and he wanted to show me what boys really expected from me.
He told me that he was worried that I would disappoint them, so he wanted to teach me how to make them happy, since I was obviously advertising to them that I could, by looking sexy the way I did.
He teased me and challenged me by saying – I bet you don’t have much going on under those tease clothes, as he pawed at my clothing and pulled it off my body a bit.
I sort of pushed him away from me, but at the same time enjoyed the attention he was lustfully giving me… it made me feel sexy. It made me feel valuable. It made me feel like I had something he desperately wanted. And I did.
He backed me into a corner and shoved his hand down the front of my shorts. His greedy fingers pawed at my pussy a bit, looking for that bit of juiciness that would give him permission to keep pushing my boundaries, to keep pushing past what seemed like it was justifiable with me, his niece.
My pussy got so juicy, living out the fantasy of my uncle groping me in places I knew I shouldn’t be touched or lusted after by family members. The yoni massage therapist dipped his fingers into my juicy pussy, and I knew that I couldn’t wait to explore other sexual fantasies with him.
I loved the taboo feeling of him taking advantage of my sexy young body, and I could feel that I was getting to experience something quite cathartic for me. It felt like a release that I had been looking for for a long time.
I set up future appointments with the yoni massage therapist to explore other taboo fantasies that I didn’t feel like I could explore with anyone else. It felt really freeing and empowering to have discovered someone I could explore these things with. It was certainly really gratifying to live out my fantasy where I like my uncle touching me.