The Benefits of Erotic Massage Therapy – How Receiving Yoni Massage Gave Me the Courage to Leave my Dysfunctional Marriage
Yoni massage is usually very healing in relationship and leads to positive development in intimacy and closeness between couples. In my case, however, discovering erotic massage therapy gave me the clarity to see that I was in a marriage in which I was not genuinely loved or appreciated, and it helped me have the courage to leave and open myself up to new possibilities in life.
We had been married for seven years, and our sex life had basically completely dried up. When we did have sex, it always felt forced on my end. I didn’t enjoy myself, I didn’t even get turned on. It felt like I was just putting up with his carnal needs, and I never got to address any of my own. It was only later in our marriage that I began to wake up to the fact that I even had carnal needs.
When we did have sex, my husband would get into bed with me at night, roll over on top of me, enter me, and pound away until he was finished. There was zero pleasure in it for me, and sometimes it was even painful. I began to develop ways to avoid it, trying to tell him I didn’t feel good or I had a terrible headache. Sometimes he listened, sometimes he insisted he get his needs met anyway.
As far as our physical connection, there was nothing sexy about it. There was no charge beneath his touch – no electricity that went through my body to my genitals. When he touched me, I felt dead inside. I felt nothing.
I was in total despair, and wondering if I was going to be trapped feeling unfulfilled for the rest of my life. I was crying practically daily, feeling completely unseen and unheard in my suffering. I hadn’t really revealed to anyone in my circle of closest friends that I was so miserable in my marriage. I wanted my friends and family to believe I was happy, so they wouldn’t know I had made a decision to marry someone who was not concerned with my needs or my happiness.
When I discovered erotic massage therapy online, it was like a portal to a whole new world. I couldn’t believe that there was the existence of this practice that was exclusively for women, solely for their pleasure. I had never experienced even a moment in the bedroom with my husband that was solely for my pleasure. The concept was truly foreign.
I explored the website and I watched several videos of women receiving erotic massage. My body responded intensely as I watched the videos. It was not difficult for me to imagine myself on the table, and I was burning with curiosity about the amount of pleasure that it might be possible to feel. I had felt cut off from pleasure for so long, the possibility was thrilling.
On this site, I discovered that there was a yoni massage practitioner who was local who I could set up an appointment with for a yoni massage. Suddenly, I realized that this idea that had only been a fantasy and a fascination was actually a legitimate possibility for me to experience. My mind went wild for a while and I actually experienced pleasure in new ways by myself, just thinking about the experience.
Eventually, I got to the point where I knew I wanted to set up an appointment, and I was nervously trying to figure out the right time. Should I speak to my husband about it beforehand? Should I ask for permission or for forgiveness? Should I keep the experience to myself entirely? I had no idea how I wanted to approach things with my husband and I had to make a decision.
Curious about experiencing erotic massage therapy?
I decided to do an experiment and just introduce my husband to the website and the concept of yoni massage, without showing him the possibility of a local massage appointment. I invited him to look on the computer with me, and I shared that I was fascinated with the idea of a pleasure session that was focused on me.
He didn’t handle it well. He got angry at me for causing trouble where he felt there was none. He told me that I was inappropriate for looking at such things on the internet. He let me know he felt I was selfish for not considering his feelings in how I showed him the website.
He basically made things all about him and his discomfort, and then he shut down. This was a pattern I had seen many times when attempting to get my needs met by communicating about them.
I felt incredibly discouraged, and continually unseen.
This is when I decided to go ahead and set up an appointment on my own. I was burning with curiosity and I wanted to know how deep the pleasure rabbit hole could go for me. I wanted to know what it was like to receive touch that was dedicated to giving me pleasure.
I set up the appointment and I went by myself in secret. I was super nervous when I first arrived, but the yoni massage practitioner sat me down and we talked about all of my desires and my boundaries. Before the appointment, I had looked through a list – like a menu – of pleasure possibilities and I had felt into my level of desire to experience each one. I checked in with myself to get clear on where the boundaries were that were most important to me – what did I want to experience, and what did I not want to experience?
I had asked for a basic, introductory yoni massage. I wanted to lie on the table naked, receive a full body relaxing massage, and then be teased to the point of orgasm for a happy ending. I was not comfortable exploring any anal touch, but otherwise I was okay with him touching the other parts of my body.
I took off my clothes and laid down face down on the table, and he began by running his hands lightly up and down my body, in long, slow, sensual strokes. I felt my body begin to relax and my breath deepening.
As I relaxed more fully, I noticed that the amount of pleasure I was feeling in my body was steadily increasing as his hands ran over me. It was like little electric currents ran through my body and they were traveling down to my yoni and gathering there. Already, I was experiencing more pleasure than I ever did when engaging intimately with my husband.
Then the yoni massage practitioner began to tease me. He allowed his hands to sweep along the sides of my breasts, up along my inner thighs, and in the creases between my butt and my thighs. My yoni began to feel like it was on fire. My hips began to gently rock in response to his touch.
He told me to turn my body over, and then he swept his touch over my belly, my thighs, and my breasts. He lightly teased my nipples and I could feel my yoni aching and beginning to drip with honey. I wanted him to touch me there desperately, but he was taking his time, slowly and deliberately teasing my breasts, filling me with greater and greater sensations of pleasure.
When he finally made his way down to focus on my yoni, I was so ready for his attention there. He gently parted my legs wider and exposed all of me to his view. He lightly grazed my mons, my vulva, and occasionally would gently sweep over my clit.
At this point, my hips were bucking wildly, and I was begging for the greater stimulation and release. I had not experienced this much pleasure ever before, and I was out of my mind with anticipation for the powerful orgasm I knew was coming.
His fingers began to explore my pussy in earnest, steadily increasing their pressure on my clit. I writhed and moaned and bucked, trying to get his fingers to go exactly where I felt like I needed them. As the intensity of his movements increased, I was able to release into a massive orgasm that shook my body from head to toe. It was the most incredible orgasm I had ever had.
As I walked away from the yoni massage appointment, I knew that I had opened up a new chapter in my life in which I was determined to prioritize my own pleasure. I knew that I was in a marriage with a man who was not interested in going there with me, so this experience gave me the courage to break away and open myself up to new experiences and new possibilities in life.
I left my husband, and within a couple years I met a new man who is passionate about providing me with pleasure. It has changed my life in so many ways to have my pleasure cup filled by someone who loves to fill it.
Erotic massage therapy opened this door for me, and I will forever be grateful that I discovered it. It helped me to gain so much clarity around what is pleasurable for me.