How Yoni Massage Helped Me Get in Touch with My Interoception
Interoception is the sense that allows you to determine what you are feeling inside your body. Having awareness of the sensations within our body is a normal thing – being able to feel our own heartbeat, our breath, and other sensations in our organs. This sense is also intimately involved in our ability to experience pleasure.
I experienced a traumatic event, and after the experience, I found I was no longer in touch with my own interoception. I couldn’t differentiate and determine what I was feeling in my body. It was sort of like there was a dullness within me. This made things really difficult with my husband when it came to our sex life.
We tried connecting sexually repeatedly, but the experience had changed for me so much that I just couldn’t find my pleasure in any of it. I felt nothing but dullness and disconnect in my body.
I was feeling incredibly discouraged and like it was unlikely that I would be able to heal this condition. I thought I was doomed to not be able to feel any pleasure in bed for the rest of my life. My husband was really feeling discouraged as well, because he felt like nothing he was doing was working. I could tell that he didn’t feel like he was enough of a man for me because of it. He wanted to be able to give me pleasure so badly.
We explored various sex therapies to see if we could shift this dynamic for ourselves, but nothing was really working. I was still locked in a state of numbness and disconnect. I was getting close to despair, because it felt like we had tried everything.
That’s when we discovered the existence of yoni massage. I found a website online for a local yoni massage business. He offered healing sexual experiences for women, as well as support and advice for couples in learning about yoni massage.
Have issues with interoception? Yoni massage can help!
I watched videos on his website of slow and sensual massage practices that culminated in what looked to be deeply satisfying orgasms for these women. I wondered if this kind of pleasure practice might be the key to allowing me to experience real orgasms in the company of my husband.
I showed my husband a couple yoni massage videos. I explained to him that I was interested in this practice to discover more about what was actually pleasurable for me, and what would help me to have real, deep, satisfying orgasms. I wanted to heal my body’s relationship with interoception – I wanted to see if I could learn to access the sensations within my body, so that I could tap more into my sense of pleasure. I asked him if he would be willing to explore learning about it?
I proposed that he could come to a yoni massage appointment with me and we could learn together through the yoni massage practitioner what is most effectively pleasurable for me. I acknowledged that it was a huge stretch for both of us, but that I was really hankering for a change in our sexual relationship and I wanted to heal this disconnection from myself. I couldn’t continue on unsatisfied.
My husband agreed to attend the appointment with me and we set it up. When we arrived, I was super nervous, but also so excited to explore what was possible for me. And, for the first time in my life, I was going to be at the center of attention of two men. That alone felt extremely erotic.
With the yoni massage practitioner, we discussed our goal of healing my body’s relationship to those subtle, internal sensations, and learning how to better communicate and be on the same page around pleasure. I wanted to learn how to ask for exactly what I want from my husband, and how to communicate it in a way that he could receive. I also wanted to learn how to fully receive what he was offering me as pleasure.
We began by discussing how important it was to get clear around what I actually desired when it came to pleasure. For some reason, it was much easier to give clear instruction to the yoni massage practitioner around what I wanted to experience sexually than it was with my husband. With the yoni massage practitioner, all I had to do was peruse a menu of experiences, and decide which sounded appealing and which I felt a bit repelled by.
In this more professional setting, it was actually a lot easier to gain clarity around what sounded good to me, and what sounded like it might not be so enjoyable. It felt easier to voice it, as well, almost like I was ordering it off of menu at a restaurant. It didn’t feel so tangled up in complicated emotions.
After the yoni massage practitioner and I had discussed my desires, he asked my husband if he had any questions or concerns. My husband was a bit nervous and uncomfortable, but he said he was there to learn and willing to be with his discomfort.
I removed my clothes and laid face down on the massage table. The yoni massage practitioner massaged my whole body in long, slow, sensual strokes. I focused on fully relaxing myself and allowing myself to absorb the touch. At first, there was no teasing, only lovely relaxing touch. Even this was something new, and not something that my husband and I had engaged with much. I told my husband that I loved how the slow, relaxing touch felt.
When I was fully relaxed, I began to feel a deep tingle of pleasure throughout my body. This was a huge breakthrough for me! The level of relaxation in my body allowed me to feel it all. The sensation under the yoni massage practitioner’s hands intensified. My whole body felt electric.
That was when he began to tease me by sweeping his touch closer and closer to my genitals, just barely grazing them at times. My breathing increased, and so did my husband’s as he watched my level of turn on rise. It felt miraculous to be actually feeling pleasure fully again.
The yoni massage practitioner asked me to turn over onto my back. He ran his hands over the length of my body, sweeping gently across my breasts, and he pulled my legs apart, exposing my pussy. He swept his touch along my inner thighs, coming achingly close to my pussy.
I could tell that my husband was turned on while watching my turn on increase. He stared intently as the yoni massage practitioner began to tease my clit, and stroke my labia. The amount of pleasure I was feeling in my pussy was building intensely.
The yoni massage practitioner slowly gave more and more attention to my clit and he slid his finger inside my pussy. I writhed and moaned while he concentrated his efforts on my yoni, until I had a huge, full-body quaking orgasm.
After my husband and I returned home from the appointment, it was like our ability to talk about these things and connect around pleasure had been unlocked. He shared what his experience had been like in observing me, he shared that he saw lots of things he wanted to try. I shared all the things that allowed me to feel deeper pleasure than I had experienced before.
Over the following weeks, we continued to talk about pleasure, and to experiment with the different techniques that the yoni massage practitioner had demonstrated. My husband was finally able to give me a real orgasm, and I didn’t have to pretend anymore. It was so liberating and felt delicious!
On top of that, all of the awkwardness between us when it came to our intimate engagement had melted away. We were now about to talk about sex and pleasure without being weird or avoidant about it. In fact, talking about it was beginning to feel quite sexy!
Receiving a yoni massage dramatically shifted the experience of pleasure in my marriage. I became clear around the kind of touch and stimulation I truly enjoy, and my husband learned exactly what I find pleasurable. Our relationship has become so much deeper and more connected since we began connecting with each other’s bodies this way, and discussing our desires and our pleasure.
Yoni massage healed a giant rift in my relationship and in my connection with my own body – it allowed us to directly communicate in a new way, and life between us has not been the same since. I’m so glad I found yoni massage and was able to heal my relationship with my own body, and my interoception, so my husband and I could engage with each other in this new way.